CHAPTER THREE
PHONE CALL FROM PERU
Back in Buggsie's house, his mother, answers the doorbell. Frankie's parents storm in.
"Any word yet?" asks John Fatone, without even a hello.
"Sshh! I can't hear," shouts Dr. Houghton, Buggsie's father, holding the telephone to his ear.
"I don't understand! Where can they be?" asks a worried Mrs. Fatone.
"I told Hershel not to wander off!" answers Mrs. Houghton.
"Shush! Yes, yes, I'll accept the charges," says Dr. Houghton into the phone.
"What kind of Scoutmaster is this guy, anyway? What if they've been eaten by a bear?" grumbles John Fatone.
"A bear!? Oh my god!" screams Mrs. Fatone.
"Now, Helen, don't panic. I'm sure they'll find them.
There were no signs of any wild animals," says Mrs. Houghton. "Maybe they just fell off a cliff!"
"A cliff!" replies Mrs. Fatone, bursting into tears.
"Oh Helen, shut up!" says John Fatone with a huff.
"Will everyone please keep quiet for a moment!" screams Dr. Houghton. "No non hobble'...le Espanola!" He is annoyed. "Yes, yes I have a son named Hershel. Yes, yes I'll hold." He tells the others. "It's the boys. They're calling from Peru!"
"Thank God!" says Mrs. Fatone. "What a relief," adds Mrs. Houghton.
"What the hell are they doing in Peru?" asks John Fatone as he drops the cigarette he was about to light.
Buggsie and Frankie are in a police station and an excited Peruvian police captain says, "Here is your son!" He hands the phone to Buggsie.
"Dad?"
"Hershel, are you alright son?"
"Yes dad, Frankie and I are both okay. Well, actually, I sprained my arm. But, I think it's just a hairline fracture. It's not too bad now."
"Your arm? How did you do that? And what are you doing in Peru? How did you get there?" Dr. Houghton is confused.
"Dad, I don't know how we got here. It was weird. One moment we were on Mystery Hill, and then the next, we were in Peru. It was weird! There was this blinding flash of light and there were these savages who killed this girl and, and..."
"Wait a minute! Wait a minute! What girl? This doesn't make any sense."
"I know, I know! But, I don't know how we got here, but we are!"
"Girl?" Mrs. Houghton interjects.
"What are they doing in Peru? Were they kidnapped?" adds Mrs. Fatone.
Dr. Houghton holds his hands over the mouthpiece, "He's not making any sense. He says a blinding light brought them there."
Frankie stands anxiously beside Buggsie and tries to listen in. "Oh, oh, Buggsie! Now my dad is going to start up about UFOs!"
"I knew it! They were abducted by a U.F.O.!" shouts Mr. Fatone.
Buggsie rattles on about their adventure. Finally, Dr. Houghton says, "Son, you sound confused. Put Frankie on."
"Here. I knew he wouldn't believe me," he hands the phone to Frankie.
"Frankie, are you all right?" asks Dr. Houghton.
"Yes, sir, I'm fine. Is my dad talking about UFOs?"
"They were probably used for medical experiments,” says Mr. Fatone, rattling on about U.F.O. abductions.
"Well... yes. How did you get to Peru?"
Frankie pauses in thought. Well, we were watching the sun rise and then, bingo, we were in Peru."
"What? Say that again."
"Look, we'll explain when we get home."
"Is that my Frankie?" asks Mrs. Fatone.
"Here, I think they're both disoriented." He hands the phone to Mrs. Fatone.
"Frankie?" asks the excited mother.
"Yes, mom."
"Frankie darling, thank god you're alright. We were so worried." She sighs.
"Peru? Tell them not to drink the water. They'll get sick," says Mrs. Houghton.
Frankie listens to his mom's words of concern and turns to Buggsie, "Your mom says not to drink the water."
Buggsie is gulping down a cup of water that the captain has handed him and, with Frankie's words barely out, spits it out abruptly.
"And I lost my keyboard, Mom."
"Oh, they found that, dear. But they're still looking for you. You had everyone worried sick, running off like that," Mrs. Fatone says, her voice still emotional. "Now, where are you exactly? How far is it?"
"Mom, we're in Peru!" Frankie emphasizes the name.
"Yes dear, what exit do we take?"
"Exit? Give me that phone, you dingbat!" demands Mr. Fatone. "Frankie?"
"Yes, dad."
"Where are you?"
"Puno, Peru."
"How the hell did you manage that? It must be, at least, an eight hour flight."
Frankie holds his hand over the mouthpiece. "Oh no! He’s going postal!" he looks at Buggsie, annoyed. "Look, Dad, I'm not quite sure how we got here, but definitely not on any U.F.O.," Frankie says, removing his hand from the mouthpiece.
"How do you know? You're probably brainwashed and can't remember anything."
"No way man! There was no flying saucer! No men in silver suits with long skinny fingers! No E.T., no..."
"How do you know? How do you explain getting there?" Mr. Fatone is now addressing him smugly.
"I don't know. Maybe we're not in Peru at all, and this is a special episode of Totally Hidden Video." Frankie now sounds desperate.
"Was there any loss of time?" asks Mr. Fatone.
"How should I know? I can't even ask where to take a piss. I flunked Spanish, remember?"
"Don't remind me. If you weren't always goofing off, playing that darn keyboard, you would know how to speak Spanish."
"John, John!" interrupts Dr. Houghton. "Let me talk to the boys. We have to get them home."
"Be careful, son. They may come back for further experiments on you. Dr. Houghton wants to talk to Buggsie again." Fatone hands the phone over.
"Frankie? Buggsie?" Dr. Houghton asks.
"It's me, dad."
"Listen son, we have to get you and Frankie to an airport. We'll wire you money. Can the police captain take you there?"
"Well, I'm not sure. I guess so."
"Well let me talk to him again. Captain, -What was his name?"
"Cordosa. Here." Buggsie hands the captain the phone.
"Si Signore. Si... si. We will take them there," says the helpful police captain. The two men talk and make the arrangements for the boys' safe return.
"Yes, it is very strange. No, they didn't run away from home. This is all a mystery. Well then, thank you Signore, I mean captain. May I speak with my son again, please?" Dr. Houghton asks. "Hershel?"
"Yes, dad."
"It's all set. The police will take you to Lima. There'll be tickets and some money waiting for you. I want you to give half to the captain's men and the rest is for you and Frankie for food and things."
"Okay, Dad."
"Now, I want you to call me from the Limatambo airport and I'll tell you what to do."
"Yes Dad." Buggsie listens, constantly nodding yes.
"What was that place anyway? It had a big stone archway," Frankie asks Captain Cordosa.
"It is known as the Gateway of the Sun. It is very ancient and many people come to visit it."
"Yeah, like those headhunters." Frankie speaks sarcastically.
"Those evil men are followers of the Cat God. The Church has tried to do away with them for years, but some still insist on following the old ways of human sacrifice," the captain explains.
"Do you think you'll be alright?" Dr. Houghton asks.
"Yes, Dad. I just want to come home." Buggsie sighs.
"You'll be here soon, son. I love you." Dr. Houghton assures him.
"I love you too, dad."
"Alright then, I'll talk to you when you get to the airport in Lima."
"O.K. Dad. Bye." Buggsie says nervously.
"Bye, son."
PHONE CALL FROM PERU
Back in Buggsie's house, his mother, answers the doorbell. Frankie's parents storm in.
"Any word yet?" asks John Fatone, without even a hello.
"Sshh! I can't hear," shouts Dr. Houghton, Buggsie's father, holding the telephone to his ear.
"I don't understand! Where can they be?" asks a worried Mrs. Fatone.
"I told Hershel not to wander off!" answers Mrs. Houghton.
"Shush! Yes, yes, I'll accept the charges," says Dr. Houghton into the phone.
"What kind of Scoutmaster is this guy, anyway? What if they've been eaten by a bear?" grumbles John Fatone.
"A bear!? Oh my god!" screams Mrs. Fatone.
"Now, Helen, don't panic. I'm sure they'll find them.
There were no signs of any wild animals," says Mrs. Houghton. "Maybe they just fell off a cliff!"
"A cliff!" replies Mrs. Fatone, bursting into tears.
"Oh Helen, shut up!" says John Fatone with a huff.
"Will everyone please keep quiet for a moment!" screams Dr. Houghton. "No non hobble'...le Espanola!" He is annoyed. "Yes, yes I have a son named Hershel. Yes, yes I'll hold." He tells the others. "It's the boys. They're calling from Peru!"
"Thank God!" says Mrs. Fatone. "What a relief," adds Mrs. Houghton.
"What the hell are they doing in Peru?" asks John Fatone as he drops the cigarette he was about to light.
Buggsie and Frankie are in a police station and an excited Peruvian police captain says, "Here is your son!" He hands the phone to Buggsie.
"Dad?"
"Hershel, are you alright son?"
"Yes dad, Frankie and I are both okay. Well, actually, I sprained my arm. But, I think it's just a hairline fracture. It's not too bad now."
"Your arm? How did you do that? And what are you doing in Peru? How did you get there?" Dr. Houghton is confused.
"Dad, I don't know how we got here. It was weird. One moment we were on Mystery Hill, and then the next, we were in Peru. It was weird! There was this blinding flash of light and there were these savages who killed this girl and, and..."
"Wait a minute! Wait a minute! What girl? This doesn't make any sense."
"I know, I know! But, I don't know how we got here, but we are!"
"Girl?" Mrs. Houghton interjects.
"What are they doing in Peru? Were they kidnapped?" adds Mrs. Fatone.
Dr. Houghton holds his hands over the mouthpiece, "He's not making any sense. He says a blinding light brought them there."
Frankie stands anxiously beside Buggsie and tries to listen in. "Oh, oh, Buggsie! Now my dad is going to start up about UFOs!"
"I knew it! They were abducted by a U.F.O.!" shouts Mr. Fatone.
Buggsie rattles on about their adventure. Finally, Dr. Houghton says, "Son, you sound confused. Put Frankie on."
"Here. I knew he wouldn't believe me," he hands the phone to Frankie.
"Frankie, are you all right?" asks Dr. Houghton.
"Yes, sir, I'm fine. Is my dad talking about UFOs?"
"They were probably used for medical experiments,” says Mr. Fatone, rattling on about U.F.O. abductions.
"Well... yes. How did you get to Peru?"
Frankie pauses in thought. Well, we were watching the sun rise and then, bingo, we were in Peru."
"What? Say that again."
"Look, we'll explain when we get home."
"Is that my Frankie?" asks Mrs. Fatone.
"Here, I think they're both disoriented." He hands the phone to Mrs. Fatone.
"Frankie?" asks the excited mother.
"Yes, mom."
"Frankie darling, thank god you're alright. We were so worried." She sighs.
"Peru? Tell them not to drink the water. They'll get sick," says Mrs. Houghton.
Frankie listens to his mom's words of concern and turns to Buggsie, "Your mom says not to drink the water."
Buggsie is gulping down a cup of water that the captain has handed him and, with Frankie's words barely out, spits it out abruptly.
"And I lost my keyboard, Mom."
"Oh, they found that, dear. But they're still looking for you. You had everyone worried sick, running off like that," Mrs. Fatone says, her voice still emotional. "Now, where are you exactly? How far is it?"
"Mom, we're in Peru!" Frankie emphasizes the name.
"Yes dear, what exit do we take?"
"Exit? Give me that phone, you dingbat!" demands Mr. Fatone. "Frankie?"
"Yes, dad."
"Where are you?"
"Puno, Peru."
"How the hell did you manage that? It must be, at least, an eight hour flight."
Frankie holds his hand over the mouthpiece. "Oh no! He’s going postal!" he looks at Buggsie, annoyed. "Look, Dad, I'm not quite sure how we got here, but definitely not on any U.F.O.," Frankie says, removing his hand from the mouthpiece.
"How do you know? You're probably brainwashed and can't remember anything."
"No way man! There was no flying saucer! No men in silver suits with long skinny fingers! No E.T., no..."
"How do you know? How do you explain getting there?" Mr. Fatone is now addressing him smugly.
"I don't know. Maybe we're not in Peru at all, and this is a special episode of Totally Hidden Video." Frankie now sounds desperate.
"Was there any loss of time?" asks Mr. Fatone.
"How should I know? I can't even ask where to take a piss. I flunked Spanish, remember?"
"Don't remind me. If you weren't always goofing off, playing that darn keyboard, you would know how to speak Spanish."
"John, John!" interrupts Dr. Houghton. "Let me talk to the boys. We have to get them home."
"Be careful, son. They may come back for further experiments on you. Dr. Houghton wants to talk to Buggsie again." Fatone hands the phone over.
"Frankie? Buggsie?" Dr. Houghton asks.
"It's me, dad."
"Listen son, we have to get you and Frankie to an airport. We'll wire you money. Can the police captain take you there?"
"Well, I'm not sure. I guess so."
"Well let me talk to him again. Captain, -What was his name?"
"Cordosa. Here." Buggsie hands the captain the phone.
"Si Signore. Si... si. We will take them there," says the helpful police captain. The two men talk and make the arrangements for the boys' safe return.
"Yes, it is very strange. No, they didn't run away from home. This is all a mystery. Well then, thank you Signore, I mean captain. May I speak with my son again, please?" Dr. Houghton asks. "Hershel?"
"Yes, dad."
"It's all set. The police will take you to Lima. There'll be tickets and some money waiting for you. I want you to give half to the captain's men and the rest is for you and Frankie for food and things."
"Okay, Dad."
"Now, I want you to call me from the Limatambo airport and I'll tell you what to do."
"Yes Dad." Buggsie listens, constantly nodding yes.
"What was that place anyway? It had a big stone archway," Frankie asks Captain Cordosa.
"It is known as the Gateway of the Sun. It is very ancient and many people come to visit it."
"Yeah, like those headhunters." Frankie speaks sarcastically.
"Those evil men are followers of the Cat God. The Church has tried to do away with them for years, but some still insist on following the old ways of human sacrifice," the captain explains.
"Do you think you'll be alright?" Dr. Houghton asks.
"Yes, Dad. I just want to come home." Buggsie sighs.
"You'll be here soon, son. I love you." Dr. Houghton assures him.
"I love you too, dad."
"Alright then, I'll talk to you when you get to the airport in Lima."
"O.K. Dad. Bye." Buggsie says nervously.
"Bye, son."